notions of beauty

I overheard a semi-interesting comment this afternoon...the notion that women wear makeup to make themselves look younger. This person equated such acts to mean you were frivolous & probably lying to yourself about who you really were. Can that be true? I suppose there are some women who try to defy all odds of aging and cake on the foundation and all the youth creams out there on the market. But I've always seen makeup as complementary. Why look washed out & pale...liked you've made no effort whatsoever? I guess that's the operative word: effort. I'm not very forgiving of women who look like slobs. Of course there are major exceptions to all of this, but in general I find you owe it to yourself not to look like a sack of potatoes. You don't have to be some great beauty who has the perfect everything (hair, height, face, weight, etc...)....You just need to have an interest in yourself. Bottom line: Go out and make yourself look good (maybe you'll feel better too!). None of what I'm saying is anything new...but I'm still curious to hear what you think of those who try their best to look decent and those who just don't give a care...What do you think?


  1. Well, now this is fascinating. My first thought was, this woman...who made this remark...what was her appearance like? It doesn't matter that much but I was curious because it might explain a thing or 2 about what I see as a totally defensive and frankly, pointless comment. Now you know me...I am certainly not a makeup junky. I like the packaging but I make no bones about the fact that I don't like wearing the stuff. That said...I still do...and here's why...now I know this is going to be a shocker...it can make you look better!! Anybody who doesn't admit that is lying to themselves. I don't particularly care for the look of pounds of makeup either...of course anyone who knows anything will tell you that too much makeup actually makes you look older but that said, a little makeup..applied correctly can make you look and feel like a million bucks. Not unlike hitting the gym or a great piece of clothing, makeup is there to enhance the natural beauty I think we all have. And who doesn't want that!

    One thing I learned from you Ms. M (and it might be the single most valuable thing anyone has EVER said to me regarding beauty...and that includes all the beauty mags) is that perfection in our looks is not necessary. Or as you put it, "Pretty people don't impress me". It is their sense of style, the way they choose to present themselves to the world, that really inspire. If that weren't the case, well for one thing we wouldn't all be fascinated by "The Sartorialist" on a daily basis.

    Well, there is really so much more to say...I am so tired of continual comments, labasting the beauty industry by folks who rather just go through the world in their pajamas. For gods sake, take some pride in your appearance and stop whining already people.

  2. By the way...great post Ms. M.

    And one more thing...you know that last few years have not been the easiest for me. I have seen my very own appearance change in radical ways...then change back...and then change again. For the bulk of that time I have always tried to continue to maintain a decent appearance. Whatever was thrown at me, I just tried to adapt to and you know what...it made all the difference because when you give up your appearance, you give up on everything.

  3. i think your second comment is quite important...of course everything else you've said is equally important as well....but getting back to the second...
    i was thinking of the both of us when i said there are great exceptions to when you actually take the time to make yourself somewhat presentable....but still. even at my worst moments...when i had to trek myself off to the hospital for my d&cs....I still put my lipstick on. why? because i didn't want to look like i just rolled out of bed.

    everything you said about caking on the makeup makes you look older is so so true...and i can't stand girls who pile it on..thinking more is more. that is so so false! less is more. that's the case for makeup, as it is for clothing/accessories.

    the most important thing about makeup and clothing (because i think these two are quite intertwined in many ways)is that you just make some effort in looking decent. doesn't that give you some confidence?

    i just don't get women who make no effort. i really would like to know what goes through their minds. and very interesting you asked about who spoke these words....i first started to mention a little about the person who said this and then decided against it....

    i will say that this person is one of those people who just doesn't make the effort...kinda klutzy in manner/dress...and looked aged WAY beyond her years...

    that's the worst offense: when you look/act older than you really are...and you're only in your early/mid 30s.

    anyway, i could go on for ages on this sort of topic.....

  4. We really could go on for ages...and it is a discussion I feel we've been having since we've known each other because it is just endless. For the last time...none of this has anything to do with being perfect. It has to do with giving a damn.

    I'm sure you've seen "What not to wear" ... well I like both versions (Brit and US) but what I love about Stacey and Clinton on the US version, is that they really drive the point home of how a little effort...just a little...can change everything. I've seen people on that show who are completely hopeless...but with a few changes coupled with a renewed attitude in the difference a nice appearance can make...feel 100% better.

    Oh and I am so with you on aging yourself. A true sin. I kind of faced that a few weeks back when deciding on whether to commit to coloring my hair...because it is a commitment. And then I thought to myself, "What am I, nuts?!?!" Of course I did it...I am not old enough to go gray..not just yet anyway...and am loving going to have my hair done...and again, it makes me feel great!

  5. Just a funny aside...and a Seinfeld moment at at that. Do you remember the episode where George is wearing sweat pants out of the house. I believe it is Jerry who says, wearing sweat pants out in public is like saying to the world you've given up.


  6. yes!!! seinfeld...of course! of course this is george... but i digress!

    i'm sure you'd look stunning w/ grey hair...because every other part of you is well taken care of!(does that make sense...it looks weird spelled out)...anyway, some people can let some things go every once in a while because there are other wonderful parts to them that make up for it.... i think if you want to be very simple--just concentrate on one area to start and then go from there... i think a lot of the time it really has to do with the person's personality. bottom line: if you're nuts you're hopeless!
    ( i am so biased in what i'm saying because i am thinking a specific individual as i write this!..so mean of me.)

  7. Never mean...always honest...and totally on point Ms. M.

    I think you are MUCH too kind when it come to me. But I know what you mean...my motto has always been to keep things as simple as possible. You almost always look better and flip side is you have less chances to make mistakes :)

    Everyone has something lovely about them...everyone! Find it and own it and you're practically there!